A full life

“There is never an instants truce between virtue and vice. Goodness is the only investment that never fails. By turns our purity inspires and our impurity casts us down.” (Thoreau) Living a full life means being true to the intrinsic virtue God has placed within me. It has been a battle my whole life. Evil works beget evil habits and negatively form personal character. Purity is from God and does inspire, myself and others, to good works and the emergence of charitable character. I did not live because I was barely alive. I was hiding from myself. I was running from God and all I knew to be true. I was an empty shell of the creature God intended me to become. I let drugs, booze and relationships deter me from my rightful place on the right hand of God. I chose guilt and shame and isolation over peace and pride and fellowship. I sought after the opinion of the world and tried everything to forget my disloyalty to my maker.

“To be awake is to be alive. I came to die only to discover that I had not lived. I wanted to live deep; to suck all the marrow out of life.” (Thoreau) I thought I would find my way slowly to the grave through oceans of booze, mountains of cocaine and relationships that lacked depth and fidelity. That was not living! I was barely existing. Every day is a gift from God. With each sunrise comes the opportunity to grow, to love and to make the world better. Each hour is to be treasured and used carefully because we can never get it back.

“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify.” (Thoreau) I still get caught up in the details of life. I become fixated on the mundane inconsequential fine print. I forget to live, to enjoy, and to BE in the moment. I constantly remind myself to let the day happen and cherish the moments that make it up. My son makes me feel alive. He teaches me of the beauty and wonder of the world. I see, through his eyes, the magic of simple everyday things. He is my greatest tutor. He is untainted from the worlds’ opinion.

“Let us settle ourselves, and work and wedge our feet downward through the mud and slush of opinion, and prejudice, and tradition, and delusion and appearance, … through poverty and philosophy and religion, till we come to a hard bottom and rocks in place, which we call reality.” (Thoreau) I now live courageously. I have found my rock. Living a full life means centering my life on Jesus Christ. My religion is my foundation. Living a full life means living and loving without reservation. A full life is being surrounded by family and friends that love you. A life fully lived is one without guilt or shame and pride in the person you are.