Week 8: reflection and rough draft

When I enrolled in Early American Literature I was excited. I love to read. However, when I brought the books home and started skimming through them, I was really disappointed. I was sure this class would be dreadful, long, boring and tedious. I have never been more happy to be wrong. I will not be the first to say that the way Dr. Brandon’s class is organized is very conducive to reading, understanding and applying the literature in a fun and creative way. If the class was not set up in small committees, if we did not read and then write about the literature this class would have been agonizing and over whelming.

I have learned how to read real literature. I never knew reading literature could be SO different from novels. It has been vital over the last eight weeks to slow down and take more time. I have realized I have to allow time to read and think and reread. The technique that works best for me is when I read the writing prompt first so I have some idea of what I should be looking for in the reading. While I am reading I take quotes that will fit in with what I want to write about and my essays start to form and take shape. Although I do love to read, I have never had much exposure to transcendentalists and romantics. I had heard of Emerson, Thoreau and Poe but never laid eyes on their work. Men are like plants; the goodness and flavour of the fruit proceeds from the peculiar soil and exposition in which they grow. We are nothing but what we derive from the air we breathe, the climate we inhabit, the government we obey, the system of religion we profess, and the nature of our employment (de Crevecoeur, 56). I would add we are nothing but what we derive from the knowledge we acquire and apply in our lives. This has allowed me to take what I read and change myself and my life because of it.

I have learned how to apply the readings in my life. Before the class started I thought I would be a passive participant and a lot of parroting would take place. “In the right state, he is, Man Thinking. In the degenerate state, when the victim of society, he tends to become a mere thinker, or, still worse, the parrot of other men's thinking” (Emerson). This was my biggest moment in this class. Emerson hit me like a ton of bricks and opened my eyes. I thought of myself as a great student. I never thought of myself as a scholar. Now, I don’t know if I could even be called that. I have been parroting back information to try and earn high grades but I haven’t really been learning anything. I definitely haven’t been using the things I learn to spark unique and individual thought. I am ashamed of myself. I know I am capable of more than I have been doing. I was proud of my accomplishments so far but now the bar has been set higher. I want more out of my education and Emerson has opened that door to my personal greatness.

When I started reading our first assignment from de Crevecoeur I thought, “who in the world is so long winded that they can write one essay that is this many pages long?” The society and the authors that produced the literature came from a different world then we live in now. Someone pointed out to me that this was before television; this was before all of the modern technological distractions we have today. The world was more unstable and uncertain in an entirely different way. There were more unknowns, there was more that was changing and they had more time to ponder on these issues. As Dr. Brandon has told us, “Romanticism as a movement placed a tremendous value on the worth of the individual person and their ability to feel greatly, to imagine, and to sympathize. Romanticism was pivotal in providing Americans with an intellectual and artistic tradition.” The works that these authors produced played a very important role in shaping our country.

These works have had a tremendous impact on me. “To be awake is to be alive. I came to die only to discover that I had not lived. I wanted to live deep; to suck all the marrow out of life.” (Thoreau) I knew exactly that Thoreau was saying when he wrote that. It echoed the path I have been on for the last few years of my life. I enjoy learning and although, at times, the words of these great authors are very difficult to understand, they excite me. They inspire me to higher thinking and more fulfilled living. “It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude” (Emerson). If each individual lived true to the independence of solitude it would completely change society as a whole. I believe that no one person can change the world but if each individual changes then those changes can affect the whole world. Sometimes when I am out in the world I feel like a treasonous imitation of myself. I don’t know why I find it so hard to maintain that independence.

Wikipedia says that the term sublime especially refers to a greatness with which nothing else can be compared and which is beyond all possibility of calculation, measurement or imitation. Poe focused on terror and horror when feeling the sublime. Dr. Brandon also shared that the sublime can be elation or joy. The reason behind the search for these moments is that at no other time do we feel more alive. Sometimes life can feel like dream. The day to day monotony can drag and feel hauntingly repetitive. These moments snap us awake from our sleep walking. They are so intense and raw with extreme emotion there is no doubt that we are alive.

I will argue for an A. At this point it would be an A-. I enjoy writing very much and I think I am quite exceptional at it. I love words and because of my love for theatre I have quite a dramatic flair. I know that I can improve on the promptness of my writing assignments. My sublime moment I wrote about temporarily blinded me to my real life responsibilities. I have refocused and prioritized so I am back on track. The quality of my writing is well above average and the quantity is always exact to the specification of the weekly assignments page. The only other thing I need to do is continue to incorporate my readings into my writings like I did at the beginning of the semester.