REVISION: Why I didn't take a walk

“Every sunset which I witness inspires me with the desire to go to a West as distant and as fair as that into which the sun goes down.” Thoreau refers to the sunset as, “the great Western pioneer.” I grew up in the Pacific Northwest. Washington State is home of Seattle, the “Emerald city”, the Cascade mountain range, Mt. Rainier, the Puget Sound and miles of Pacific Coast shoreline and highway. It is breathtakingly beautiful. When I say that I mean, stop you dead in your tracks, consciously remember to breathe and pick your jaw up off the ground beautiful.

I am spoiled, totally and completely spoiled from having grown up in such a magnificent part of the country and world for that matter. I inherited a deep seeded love for nature, for its’ beauty and all it has to offer. I am from a lower middle class family and I have six brothers and sisters. Since we didn’t have a lot of money growing up my family usually went for the free outdoor activities and for that I am truly grateful. Instead of going to Disneyland we went camping. Instead of going to amusement parks we went on day trips to the ocean. Instead of a fancy vacation we took road trips out to the Olympic Peninsula. I wouldn’t trade the experiences or the memories for any others.

I can see most of our recent readings manifest in my experiences with nature. I am my true self out in the woods when I am swimming through icy glacial run off or hiking through a forest so green it looks like it was taken straight from the Emerald City in The Wizard of Oz. When I am immersed with the independence of solitude I can listen to what the earth is trying to teach me through the winds song and the sunsets’ vision. When I am living a full life I become one with the mountains and I know that with enough faith I can move them. My life would not be full if I didn’t have the peace I feel from leaving the crazy modern world behind and seeking out the stillness of the outdoors. Those moments are sublime when words escape me and I am moved with emotion, to tears, at the beauty God has created and given to us, his children. “Give me the ocean, the desert or the wilderness. In the desert the, pure air and solitude compensate for want of moisture and fertility. There is the strength, the marrow of nature. The wild-wood covers the virgin mould, -- and the same soil is good for men and for trees” (Thoreau).

My relationship with nature is one of reverence and awe. I would much rather be, “an inhabitant of nature than a member of society.” My relationship with nature is one of peace and gratitude. I possess that, “spirit of undying adventure, never to return” and often have to stop myself from wanting to just go and not come back. My relationship with nature continues to strengthen and grow. I love to be, absolutely free from all worldly engagements” and to lose myself where I truly belong. I hope I will be able to share that relationship with my son. I hope he will grow up to know and love nature the way I do.

Why didn’t I take a walk? “How womankind, who are confined to the house still more than men, stand it I do not know” (Thoreau). There are many things I wish I had time to do that I simply don’t. My days are filled with school work (being a scholar), my son (living a full life) and work (just one of those necessities). I simply didn’t have time to get out and enjoy one of the things I love the most. I am torn between Emerson and my love of learning and Thoreau and my love of nature. “I wonder about this time, or say between four and five o’ clock in the afternoon, too late for the morning papers and too early for the evening ones, there is not a general explosion heard up and down the street, scattering of antiquated and housebred notions and whims to the four winds for an airing, and so the evil cure itself” (Thoreau). I find myself fighting this desire to explode from my house and return to the outdoors. I know that I there is a time and a season for everything. Right now being a scholar is my first priority so I can graduate.