Public Profession of Belief

It is my intention to publicly profess and publish my beliefs. It may be extremely difficult for some to have to sit down and evaluate what it is that they truly believe. It may take long hours of introspection to put into words the beliefs of their soul. I do not struggle with these same issues. I have the beliefs I do because I know they are true. God speaks to us through his holy spirit and by and through it we can know the truth of all things. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

I believe in God the Eternal Father, in His Son Jesus Christ and in the Holy Ghost. They are three individual and distinct beings. We are created in the image of God and as His children we possess all the Godly potential to become like Him someday.

I believe men will be punished for their own sins and not Adam’s transgression. We are responsible for our choices and for every choice there is a consequence. Besides the gift of His Only Begotten Son, the gift of free agency is one of the most precious gifts God gave us. We are free to choose good from evil and are judged based upon our works here on earth.

I believe the first four foundational and building principles and ordinances of the gospel are: first, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, repentance; third, baptism by immersion for the remission of sin; fourth laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

I believe that a man must be called of God, by prophesy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the gospel and administer in the ordinances there of. The priesthood is the authority and power of God here on earth. Only those who have been properly ordained can act with His power and in His name.

I believe the same organization existed in the primitive church, when Jesus himself was here on the earth and first established His church. Namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists and so forth.

I believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues and so forth. God still communicates and continues to give revelation to us on earth today. We have a living prophet on the earth today as well, Thomas S. Monson.

I believe the Bible to be the word of God as long as it is translated correctly. I also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.

I believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal and I believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to His kingdom.

I believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the ten tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.

I believe in worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our my conscious, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

I believe in being subject to presidents, rulers and magistrates, in obeying honoring and sustaining the laws of the land.

I believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous and in doing good to all men. Indeed, I say, I follow the admonition of Paul. I believe all things, I hope all things, I have endured many things and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, those are the things which I seek after.

These are my core beliefs but there is so much more. I know God loves me. I am His daughter and He wants me to find peace and happiness here on earth. I can do this by keeping His commandments and being true to my purpose here. That purpose is to be tested and tried to exercise faith and to learn to be like Him. I know that Jesus Christ id the Savior of this world. He came to earth to show me how I should live. He suffered for my sins and all the sins of the world so that I can be forgiven and perfected through His atonement. Most important I know He lives. He was resurrected on the third day and I will be too. I will have the opportunity to have eternal life with God and Jesus someday. I know that we have a living prophet here on the earth. Thomas S. Monson leads and directs The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints through direct revelation. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God and is a companion to the Bible. We can find joy and peace by reading it, studying it and by living its principles. I testify of the truthfulness of these things in the name of Jesus Christ.

H A P P Y F A K E S- G I V I N G

We had our Thanksgiving last Saturday because my sister Mary is a nurse and has to work. It's not about the day it's about family... and family it was ALL about!!

My family, the *CrAzY* Hill clan.

It takes patience to acquire patience.

Cultivating my virtue is going well. I have had many opportunities in the last week to practice being patient and not letting my anger get the best of me. I know better than to pray for patience because then your life will become like Job. God would have the green light to give you all sorts of opportunities to learn patience. Like I have said before, my lack of patience manifests itself in the form of my anger management issues.

Two Saturdays ago I made a twenty four hour commitment to act calm. This is from the anger control workbook I am using in conjunction with therapy. It was a high stress day where I would be around lots of people at an all day church charity service project and then in the evening I was driving up to D.C. for a church dance. (Road rage and traffic jams are great opportunities to practice and cultivate patience!!) I was really proud of myself, hey I didn't chose humility as my virtue, lmao. Because of my conscious choice to act calm for twenty four hours I was more aware of my wods and actions. There was only one time where I pretty much lost it but it was more restrained than it would have been.

Then last Friday I went to see New Moon with my best friend and my son. It wasn't a good plan. He didn't even make it ten minutes into the movie. I was really upset and angry at the whole situation. In the car on the way home I was talking to my best friend and I shared with her how angry I had been but how proud of myself I was because I was able to be calm and to work through my anger without her even knowing how angry I was. My best friend in the un iverse, the woman who knows me better than I know myself sometimes had NO CLUE how angry I had been because I was able to recoingnize my anger and label it. I then accepted that I was angry, because it's ok to be angry. Then I simply let it go. Kids are kids and there was nothing I could do to change the situation so I didn't dwell on it and moved on.

There are some techniques that help me when I start to get angry. I have to recognize tension in my body. Everyone starts to build tension in different parts of their body when they get angry. Mine is my jaw and my shoulders. So I deliberately relax those areas when I feel them getting tense. I have also started to dig deeper intio my emotions. Instead of just being mad about something I am finding what emotions trigger the anger as a defence mechanism. Deep soothing breaths really work. It helps to slow the heart rate and to relax the body.

I am proud of my progress, so is my best friend and also my therapist. I know I am making small changes that will have a great impact on my future and the person I am becoming.

Extra Credit: The capitol building

The Richmond Capitol Building

The first session of the Virginai state legislature took place in Jamestown in 1619. For over 160 years it met in churches, homes, colleges and taverns until the capitol was moved to Richmond. The assembly met in Shockhoe Bottom in two warehouses until 1780 when funds were appropriated to build a permanent home for the seat government, now Capitol Square.

Thomas Jefferson was asked to design Virginia's capitol. He was inspired by classical Roman temple design. The capitol building is made of brink and covered with stucco. The Corner stone was laid in 1785 when Patirck Henry was Virginia's seventh governor. The six columns on the South portico contain the original pine tree center posts.

The Rotunda in the center of the capitol is crowned by a dome and skylights that illuminate a marble statue of George Washington. When the South fell and the capitol of the Confederacy was in flames, refugees fleeing the fires along the James assembled in the Square to protect the building.

The building doesn't look anything like any other capitol building I have ever seen. It is beautiful and does look just like a Roman temple. I have driven past it before and never knew it was the capitol! It was a lot smaller than I expected but the history is SO rich and alive there I feel like it had much more to offer than other more modern capitol buildings.

I took a picture of the state seal. I have only lived here in VA for two years and I has never seen the seal before. The four designers of the seal didn't want to show allegiance to Britian and they found inspiration in classic Roman ideals once again. Traditionally, a seal resembeled a coat of arms, pleding loyalty to the royal family. The designers chose The Roman goddess, Virtus, who represented freedom. Also, they chose the Latin phrase, Sic Semper Tyrannis. It means Thus Always to Tyrants.

As you can see in the first picture I tried my hand at passing some laws but for some reason I was unsuccessful. Maybe it was because I was in the old senate room or because perhaps me and my best friend were the only ones there! Oh well, I guess I will stick with being a scholar for now.

I definately recommend this field trip to the class. It was like stepping back into the past.

Reflection Week 12: Claims and artifacts

1. My favorite quote was, Men are like plants; the goodness and flavour of the fruit proceeds from the peculiar soil and exposition in which they grow. We are nothing but what we derive from the air we breathe, the climate we inhabit, the government we obey, the system of religion we profess, and the nature of our employment (56). What I have learned is that although we have changed drastically, which is destined to happen with time, our roots are planted deep in the soil of ideals from our forefathers. We are not so far removed from where we came from. We are a new race of men, we are Americans (55).

2. I learned we will not know until we try. “The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried” (Emerson). For a long time I was afraid to try. I was afraid to even attempt for fear of failure. I doomed myself to failure because I would not try. I lacked the confidence I needed to succeed because I was not true to myself. I was not true to my beliefs, ideals and the very foundation of my being. Now as I align my conduct with my belief I know anything is possible. I know that if I set my mind to it, I can accomplish anything I desire.

3. I learned it is important to live after my own opinion and stay true to myself when I am out in the world. “It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude” (Emerson). Why in public do I conform to the opinion of the world? Why do I become some treasonous imitation of myself? When I step out into the world I will live after my own opinion and with the same independence of solitude. I will embrace the divinity God has planted in my soul and nurture it until it takes root and grows.

4. I learned that I should compare myself to no one and accept me for who I am. “These roses under my window make no reference to former roses or to better ones; they are for what they are; they exist with God to-day. There is no time to them. There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of its existence” (Emerson). I will compare myself to no one. I will be what I am, what I was created to be and I will exist with God.

5. This week a disturbing truth was revealed to me, “In the right state, he is, Man Thinking. In the degenerate state, when the victim of society, he tends to become a mere thinker, or, still worse, the parrot of other men's thinking” (Emerson). I have been a parrot of other men’s thinking. I considered myself a student. I never thought of myself as a scholar. Now, I don’t know if I could even be called that. I have been parroting back information to try and earn high grades but I haven’t really been learning anything. I definitely haven’t been using the things I learn to spark unique and individual thought. I am ashamed of myself. I know I am capable of more than I have been doing. I was proud of my accomplishments so far but now the bar has been set higher. I want more out of my education and Emerson has opened that door to my personal greatness.

6. “To be awake is to be alive. I came to die only to discover that I had not lived. I wanted to live deep; to suck all the marrow out of life.” (Thoreau) Last week I was reminded of what really matters and what is essential to living the fullest life. To me this quote by Thoreau summarizes how I was living my life and how I feel now. I have completely changed the direction of my life in the last two and a half years. I wasn’t doing anything with my life. I didn’t have any goals. I wasn’t headed anywhere but to a future of misery and loneliness. Like Thoreau, I realized I was going to die and look back and see I had never really lived my life the way God intended me to.

7. Dr. Brandon is always having us look at situations in a different light and with a new perspective. He said, “It is more difficult for us to see the evils in our own time which are incompatible with the things we hold to be true as Americans.” I used to be very selfish and territorial of “my country.” I used to feel like this was my country and everyone else didn’t belong here. Somewhere I went terribly wrong and somehow I felt like this was more my country then an individual who immigrated here.
“America culture and the literature we're reading is built on the shared belief that "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness." -Dr. Brandon. Everyone has that right. Now I realize how evil I was being. My son’s father is here in this country illegally so I feel different now than I did back then. This country is for ALL people seeking opportunity and liberty. If owning slaves was considered the norm back then, maybe I would have owned slaves. I am not as ignorant now and I can honestly say there is a possibility I might have. This is a big step for me to see the issue from an entirely different perspective and be able to even entertain the idea.

Virtue

Faith- To have faith and believe that God is real and that He loves me. Also, to have faith that Jesus Christ died for my sins and I can be saved and redeemed through Him.

Hope- Hope is an abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promises. Hope is also optimism and enthusiasm in working through hard times.

Charity – Charity is the pure love of Christ. It is the kind of love He had for everyone.

Virtue- Virtue begins with our inner thoughts and desires. Those thoughts and desires become our behaviors, which become our habits, which mold and shape our character.

Knowledge- There is the saying, “you can’t take it with you.” This is true but we do get to take our knowledge with us. It is important to gain all the secular and spiritual knowledge we can.

Patience- Patience is the capacity to endure trouble and opposition without anger or frustration. It is also accepting God will for me in my life.

Humility- Being wiling to submit to the will of God and honor Him in all things. Humility is not weakness it is a sign of strength.

Diligence- To be diligent one needs to be consistent earnest and energetic in living your life the way God wants you to.

Obedience- Follow all of Gods’ commandments and obey the laws of the land as well.

Patience is a Virtue

I choose the virtue patience. Patience is the capacity to endure trouble, opposition, or suffering without becoming angry, frustrated or anxious. It is the ability to accept God’s will and accept His timing. When one is patient they are able to hold up under inner pressure and face adversity calmly and with hope. It is necessary to have patience in everyday experiences and relationships. It is important to be patient with all people, including self, while working to overcome faults and weaknesses.

I have anger management problems. These issues stem from feeling unloved and ignored when I was growing up. I acted out to get attention from my parents and it worked. Somewhere along the way subconsciously I decided that I never wanted to be weak and anger was powerful so my anger served two purposes. One purpose it served was that I got attention from others and the other purpose was that my anger made me feel powerful instead of vulnerable and weak. In my life, anger is the opposite of patience. My anger is closely related to my impatience toward others and myself.

As I work on my anger problems I see my patience growing. My father is a wonderful example of a patient person. I have always wondered how I could be raised by him and not pick up any of it from him. I want to be a better person and I want to be the best mom possible. In order to achieve this I hope by working through my anger I will find more patience. I chose this virtue because it is the one I need the most work on. It is the one I struggle with the most But I know that through God all things are possible and I can change myself from the inside out with His help.

I can cultivate this virtue by doing several different things. I have to recognize a need to change and admit that a change needs to happen in my life. I need to ask for help. We can only do so much on our own. I have asked for God’s help and I have asked for professional help from my therapist. Now I have been making a conscious effort each day to be aware of my actions and words. I take a few minutes each morning to review what I am working on and throughout the day as situations arise I use relaxation techniques to relieve stress and tension. Change is possible. Just like Pavlov classically conditioned his dog I can retrain myself be react differently to certain stimuli, such as irritating or anger provoking situations.

I am in control of me. My thoughts, actions and words are choices I make. God has given me the ability to choose the person I want to be. I am thankful for opportunities to learn, grow and to lean on Him for help and guidance.

“Patience is a virtue possess it if you can. It’s seldom found in women but never in a man!” – My best friend Lisa’s favorite saying

Extra Credit:James River Park Slave Trail

James River Park Slave Trail

I wanted extra so I decided to walk the slave trail. I never knew how much it would impact me.

The area of the Manchester docks and slave trail shaped the history and culture of Richmond. The docks, five railroads, and several dirt highways all came together in this location and made the transport, trade and commerce of these humans possible. According to one of the historical markers Richmond was the largest exporter of human beings in the nation for over 40 years.

*Note to the class the first part of the trail is really bumpy and all covered over with leaves and such. To say the least, it was difficult to push the stroller through!

I started off walking down the path. The weather has been really beautiful lately and this day was no exception. I was enjoying being outside and I was enjoying the sunshine. The path winds along the river side and the view is breathtaking. Then my thoughts turned to the reason why I was walking this path. I tried to picture myself as one of the slaves just recently let off the slave ship tired, sick, starving and probably terrified. To have been ripped from my home and family and then endured the journey across the ocean is a miracle in itself. But now to be walking into the unknown, to have no idea what was next and not realizing the nightmare had only just begun.

Another marker said that the slaves were chained at the neck and legs and marched at night to avoid offending citizens with their oozing sores, filth and stench from the ships. I imagined the pain and agony they must have been in. The walk turned somber for me. It seemed like I could feel the horror of the thousands of souls that traveled that path. I swear I could almost hear the whisper of their cries in the wind. It was a sublime moment for me to travel that same path and try to empathize with this atrocity of the past. I am so glad I decided to do this. I would recommend it to all of the class. It was kind of similar to my experience going to the holocaust museum. It was really sad and hard to do but I feel like I connected with the past and I have a better understanding of what the slaves went through.

Week 11: Revision... really rough draft

Incorporation of learning objectives and grading rubric.

1.Enrolling in Early American Literature was exciting because I love to read. However, when I brought the books home and started skimming through them, I was really disappointed. I was sure this class would be dreadful, long, boring and tedious. I am so glad I was wrong. The set up of Dr. Brandon’s class is very conducive to reading, understanding and applying the literature in a fun and creative way. If the class was not set up in small committees and if we did not read and then write about the literature this class would have been agonizing and over whelming. Early American Literature has assisted in developing my communication skills.

I never knew reading literature could be SO different from novels. Developing the ability to read and comprehend the literature in this class has been my greatest accomplishment this semester. It has been vital to slow down when I am reading and take more time to analyze and understand. I realize I have to allow time to read and think and reread. The technique that works best for me is when I read the writing prompt first so I have some idea of what I should be looking for in the reading. While I am reading I take quotes that will fit in with what I want to write about and my essays start to form and take shape.

The last part of understanding the information I have read is writing about it. I have found when I address my classmates my writing is more informal and when I am writing an essay my voice is much more formal but still inviting for everyone to read. Although I do love to read, I have never had much exposure to transcendentalists and romantics. I had heard of Emerson, Thoreau and Poe but never laid eyes on their work. “Men are like plants; the goodness and flavour of the fruit proceeds from the peculiar soil and exposition in which they grow. We are nothing but what we derive from the air we breathe, the climate we inhabit, the government we obey, the system of religion we profess, and the nature of our employment” (de Crevecoeur, 56). I would add we are nothing but what we derive from the knowledge we acquire and apply in our lives. This process has allowed me to take what I read and change myself and my life because of it.

2.I have developed my critical thinking skills.

3.Literature has a profound impact on our culture and on our society. There are two levels to this impact. The first is on the individual. Once I have read these works I am changed because of it. I can’t continue on as the same person as I was before. As Dr. Brandon has told us, “Romanticism as a movement placed a tremendous value on the worth of the individual person and their ability to feel greatly, to imagine, and to sympathize. Romanticism was pivotal in providing Americans with an intellectual and artistic tradition.”

The second is on our culture. Whether intended or not these authors helped to shape the United States and to mold our culture into what we enjoy today. When reading de Crevecoeur for the first time I was shocked that one essay could be so lengthy. The authors that produced these literary works were from a different society, a whole different world, then we live in now. It was pointed out to me that this was before television; this was before all of the modern technological distractions we have today. The world was more unstable and uncertain in an entirely different way. There were more unknowns, there was more that was changing and they had more time to ponder on these issues. There is a strong interdependence of social, economic and cultural systems across the world.

4. If I didn’t know where to find the information I was seeking then the learning process would be stopped. Over this semester I have developed my information literacy. Even though specific page numbers and hyperlinks are provided to the weekly material, there are more skills needed to complete the assignments. The essays and speeches are quite lengthy. *Based on the information given to me by Dr. Brandon I have been able to analyze the texts and decide what is applicable for me and pertinent to my life. That could be whether it’s something I relate to or something I know I can improve on. *I have been able to use this information effectively to communicate on a personal level and also as a member of a group.

5. I have learned how to apply the readings in my life. Before the class started I thought I would be a passive participant and a lot of parroting would take place. “In the right state, he is, Man Thinking. In the degenerate state, when the victim of society, he tends to become a mere thinker, or, still worse, the parrot of other men's thinking” (Emerson). This was my biggest moment in this class. Emerson hit me like a ton of bricks and opened my eyes. I thought of myself as a great student. I never thought of myself as a scholar. Now, I don’t know if I could even be called that. I have been parroting back information to try and earn high grades but I haven’t really been learning anything. I definitely haven’t been using the things I learn to spark unique and individual thought. I am ashamed of myself. I know I am capable of more than I have been doing. I was proud of my accomplishments so far but now the bar has been set higher. I want more out of my education and Emerson has opened that door to my personal greatness. *I have developed personally throughout this course. Physically and emotionally I have matured and changed. These works have had a tremendous impact on me. “To be awake is to be alive. I came to die only to discover that I had not lived. I wanted to live deep; to suck all the marrow out of life.” (Thoreau) I knew exactly that Thoreau was saying when he wrote that. It echoed the path I have been on for the last few years of my life. I enjoy learning and although, at times, the words of these great authors are very difficult to understand, they excite me. They inspire me to higher thinking and more fulfilled living. “It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude” (Emerson). If each individual lived true to the independence of solitude it would completely change society as a whole. I believe that no one person can change the world but if each individual changes then those changes can affect the whole world. Sometimes when I am out in the world I feel like a treasonous imitation of myself. I don’t know why I find it so hard to maintain that independence. I have enhance the knowledge, skills, and understanding to make informed academic, social, personal, career, and interpersonal decisions.

Wikipedia says that the term sublime especially refers to a greatness with which nothing else can be compared and which is beyond all possibility of calculation, measurement or imitation. Poe focused on terror and horror when feeling the sublime. Dr. Brandon also shared that the sublime can be elation or joy. The reason behind the search for these moments is that at no other time do we feel more alive. Sometimes life can feel like dream. The day to day monotony can drag and feel hauntingly repetitive. These moments snap us awake from our sleep walking. They are so intense and raw with extreme emotion there is no doubt that we are alive.

I will argue for an A. At this point it would be an A-. I enjoy writing very much and I think I am quite exceptional at it. I love words and because of my love for theatre I have quite a dramatic flair. I know that I can improve on the promptness of my writing assignments. My sublime moment I wrote about temporarily blinded me to my real life responsibilities. I have refocused and prioritized so I am back on track. The quality of my writing is well above average and the quantity is always exact to the specification of the weekly assignments page. The only other thing I need to do is continue to incorporate my readings into my writings like I did at the beginning of the semester.

*I still need to include the items from the grading rubric

REVISION: Why I didn't take a walk

“Every sunset which I witness inspires me with the desire to go to a West as distant and as fair as that into which the sun goes down.” Thoreau refers to the sunset as, “the great Western pioneer.” I grew up in the Pacific Northwest. Washington State is home of Seattle, the “Emerald city”, the Cascade mountain range, Mt. Rainier, the Puget Sound and miles of Pacific Coast shoreline and highway. It is breathtakingly beautiful. When I say that I mean, stop you dead in your tracks, consciously remember to breathe and pick your jaw up off the ground beautiful.

I am spoiled, totally and completely spoiled from having grown up in such a magnificent part of the country and world for that matter. I inherited a deep seeded love for nature, for its’ beauty and all it has to offer. I am from a lower middle class family and I have six brothers and sisters. Since we didn’t have a lot of money growing up my family usually went for the free outdoor activities and for that I am truly grateful. Instead of going to Disneyland we went camping. Instead of going to amusement parks we went on day trips to the ocean. Instead of a fancy vacation we took road trips out to the Olympic Peninsula. I wouldn’t trade the experiences or the memories for any others.

I can see most of our recent readings manifest in my experiences with nature. I am my true self out in the woods when I am swimming through icy glacial run off or hiking through a forest so green it looks like it was taken straight from the Emerald City in The Wizard of Oz. When I am immersed with the independence of solitude I can listen to what the earth is trying to teach me through the winds song and the sunsets’ vision. When I am living a full life I become one with the mountains and I know that with enough faith I can move them. My life would not be full if I didn’t have the peace I feel from leaving the crazy modern world behind and seeking out the stillness of the outdoors. Those moments are sublime when words escape me and I am moved with emotion, to tears, at the beauty God has created and given to us, his children. “Give me the ocean, the desert or the wilderness. In the desert the, pure air and solitude compensate for want of moisture and fertility. There is the strength, the marrow of nature. The wild-wood covers the virgin mould, -- and the same soil is good for men and for trees” (Thoreau).

My relationship with nature is one of reverence and awe. I would much rather be, “an inhabitant of nature than a member of society.” My relationship with nature is one of peace and gratitude. I possess that, “spirit of undying adventure, never to return” and often have to stop myself from wanting to just go and not come back. My relationship with nature continues to strengthen and grow. I love to be, absolutely free from all worldly engagements” and to lose myself where I truly belong. I hope I will be able to share that relationship with my son. I hope he will grow up to know and love nature the way I do.

Why didn’t I take a walk? “How womankind, who are confined to the house still more than men, stand it I do not know” (Thoreau). There are many things I wish I had time to do that I simply don’t. My days are filled with school work (being a scholar), my son (living a full life) and work (just one of those necessities). I simply didn’t have time to get out and enjoy one of the things I love the most. I am torn between Emerson and my love of learning and Thoreau and my love of nature. “I wonder about this time, or say between four and five o’ clock in the afternoon, too late for the morning papers and too early for the evening ones, there is not a general explosion heard up and down the street, scattering of antiquated and housebred notions and whims to the four winds for an airing, and so the evil cure itself” (Thoreau). I find myself fighting this desire to explode from my house and return to the outdoors. I know that I there is a time and a season for everything. Right now being a scholar is my first priority so I can graduate.

Extra Credit: You go take a hike!!

Monday, November 2, 2009

I have six siblings and twelve nieces and nephews. My oldest sister is 34 and my youngest sister just turned 21. The oldest nephew is 10 and the youngest niece was born two weeks ago. My family is tall, loud and crazy! We joke that we are a traveling three ring circus all rolled into one family. That being said, almost all of us decided to go walk the flood wall, tour around Belle and Brown island and do the canal walk. It was BEAUTIFUL on Monday and we were itching to be outside.

There is an entrance to the flood wall off Hull St. My parents love to go walking there and decided to take the family. My dad, who is a great "outdoorsman" and my brother who is in the military (and thinks he knows everything) were certain there was a way to get from the flood wall to the back side of Belle island which would led us to the canal walk. In Thoreau's essay Walking, he talks about,"the spirit of undying adventure, never to return." Never to return...I was beginning to feel this way after we had left the beaten path and were relentlessly pushing forward. My dad and brother were sure we were NOT lost. All I knew was that we were still in Richmond, I just didn't have any idea where!! "There has to be a connecting trail here somewhere," my dad said. "Here I go ahead and do some recon. Yes, let's take this path it connects to another up there," said my brother.

Let me paint this picture more clearly for you. First, we have a wheel chair in tow because my mom has a bad back and can't walk for long distances. There are at least two strollers for the little ones. My sister-in-law has her one year old in a back pack and the two week old is in the front pack. What?! That is crazy, right?! That's how we roll. I took my son camping for the first time when he was three months old. Anyway, This"path", was one of many, my brother encouraged us to take. He did just fine walking down it and the rest of us off roading with strollers an wheel chairs.

There were about 15 of us all together. Kids are hungry, someone needs water and then a diaper change. My nephew takes off running, he doesn't have a shirt on because he took it off because he was hot, and he totally bites it, HARD. Only a little blood and some major road rash on his chest. No worries, it makes him look tough. We Finally find the connecting path, after about an extra 45 minutes of searching and we make it to Belle island. We have some friends with us from out of town who have never been to Belle island. My dad is eager to share all of the rich, history of the island with them. The island is beautiful in all its' fall colors and the air is warm yet still has the unique feeling of Autumn to it.

I have been to Belle island many times but this time I saw a new historical marker. It said "Place of Suffering" It talked about the prisoners that were brought to the island and how they were intentionally treated poorly to break them down and they were starved so they had no will to fight back. One of my not too distant relatives, Thorpe, was a prisoner at Belle island. Thoreau also talks about," being absolutely free from worldly engagements." Sometimes I would walk ahead to get away from the craziness and enjoy the being outside during my favorite time of the year.

The quote at the top of the page is set into a bridge that juts out into the James. It says, " you are free -- free as air... you can cast off the name of slave and trample upon it." -President Abraham Lincoln. I have only lived here in Richmond for two years but I LOVE how rich the history is here. SO... it was fun to get out on a beautiful fall day and enjoy nature. I have to admit, Dr. Brandon, there was NO independence of solitude on this trip. It was more controlled chaos with some random insanity thrown in. It WAS part of my "full life". I love being with my family and I love being outside. I do feel "equally at home everywhere" but I feel more at home with my family and when I am outside.

A workable solution

This is probably the hardest and longest writing assignment we have been given. I am frustrated that it happens to be both all in one assignment. It is easy to point out the problems that exist in the world. It is very difficult to try and think of a workable solution to one or any of them. Before being asked to write my last essay, I was quite self righteous and thought that certainly I had no part in and didn’t assist, in anyway, perpetuating evil in this world. I relate and identify with one of my classmates essays. She wrote about the use of animals for testing cosmetics and medicine and compared that to slavery. I support her statement that some evil is backed by good. Sometimes there are social justifications for our actions but that doesn’t make our actions right.

I was forced to sit and rack my brain for personal actions that support some evil in the world. At first I thought this was nonsense. I thought there was no way I would be able to do the assignment because I am too aware and too well adjusted to have any part in such things. I’m fairly certain I have been quite ignorant to what I have been party to in the past. Then I thought of my son. His blood is half mine and the other belongs to a man who “does not belong here.” His father is an illegal immigrant who hides among the lower working class. He takes the jobs that no one else wants and does it for a wage that no one else will work for. I am a different person now then I was then because of my close proximity to the issue. It has changed my heart and it has changed the way I think about immigrants in this country.

I think it would be nearly impossible to shift society as a whole into accepting the massive number of immigrants that are accepted in the U.S. each year. Since 2000, legal immigrants to the United States number approximately 1,000,000 per year, of whom about 600,000 are Change of Status immigrants who already are in the U.S. (Wikipedia). This means 600,000 of those people who become legal citizens every year are already here illegally or on work visas and are simply changing their status. Our intolerant behavior is dangerous. It is dangerous because it mirrors the actions and intolerant attitude of Adolf Hitler. He only wanted a select few who belonged, the select few who had the right to freedom and education and happiness. That seed of hate, once planted, can grow and consume an individual. The seed of intolerance, once sown, can spread like disease and consume you from the inside out. Once one person isn’t welcome than others follow. Once people aren’t welcome, other actions and choices begin to be restricted. It is an avalanche of hate waiting to be set off.

We must remember we are all members of the human race. We are all brothers and sisters created by the same God who loves us and wants us to have peace and happiness. There is SO much wrong with the world but there are SO many who want to do good. We feel powerless as one individual but together we can accomplish so much. We need to start with the children. Alexander Liebenstein, a holocaust survivor, goes around the world teaching tolerance to children. We must start when they are young and pliable and impressionable. They are the future. Just like we teach drug abuse resistance education (DARE) we need to start nation- wide tolerance education programs in elementary schools. Education is key and knowledge is power. We need to empower the youth of tomorrow with the knowledge and belief of tolerance for all people today.

I don’t condone violence. Often, words and written discourse are the catalyst for great change. You can’t apply jail time and fines to intolerance. Unfortunately, you can’t prevent rebellion and war when it comes to tolerance either. It could come from either side. It could be the citizens living here or the immigrants trying to get here. Fighting for my son is worth sacrificing my life. We never really know what lengths we will go to trying to preserve our own lives and liberties. We never know until we must do it. Sacred honor is just that and it should be defended at all costs. What is worth losing everything for to you?

Learning Reflection: week 9

Learning Reflection: Week 9

I have always told myself that I could never be guilty of perpetuating an evil such as slavery. Summer ’09 semester I took History 121. The course covered pre- Christopher Columbus to Lincoln and the succession. I was sure that this class had solidified the fact that I would never have been able to own slaves or be as cruel to any human being as some were back then. Dr. Brandon is always having us look at situations in a different light and with a new perspective. He said, “It is more difficult for us to see the evils in our own time which are incompatible with the things we hold to be true as Americans.” I used to be very selfish and territorial of “my country.” I used to feel like this was my country and everyone else didn’t belong here. Somewhere I went terribly wrong and somehow I felt like this was more my country then an individual who immigrated here.

“America culture and the literature we're reading is built on the shared belief that "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the persuit of happiness." -Dr. Brandon. Everyone has that right. Now I realize how evil I was being. My son’s father is here in this country illegally so I feel different now than I did back then. This country is for ALL people seeking opportunity and liberty. If owning slaves was considered the norm back then, maybe I would have owned slaves. I am not as ignorant now and I can honestly say there is a possibility I might have. This is a big step for me to see the issue from an entirely different perspective and be able to even entertain the idea.

And I perpetuate this....?!

Do you simply “tolerate” immigration in this country or do you openly welcome all to, “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness”? Dr. Brandon said that, “how America has come to treat immigrants is clearly at odds with the founders intentions that all are equal.” The next wish of this traveller will be to know whence came all these people? They are mixture of English, Scotch, Irish, French, Dutch, Germans, and Swedes. From this promiscuous breed, that race now called Americans have arisen (de Creveceour). In his essay, he was mostly referring to immigrants from Europe. Today we have more immigrants coming from countries where the standard of living is quite retched. The top three countries include Mexico, China and the Philippines.

I used to feel differently about illegal immigrants here in America than I do now. I am a native born citizen of this country. I am a thirty year old, Caucasian female, born and bred here in the U.S. My son’s father (who shall remain nameless and does not reside here in VA) is here in this country illegally. There is something to be said of our laws and proper procedure for coming to and living in this country. However, it is what it is and the fact remains I would not want him to be sent back now and for my son to be denied his father.

Can a wretch who wanders about, who works and starves, whose life is a continual scene of sore affliction or pinching penury; can that man call England or any other kingdom his country? A country that had no bread for him, whose fields procured him no harvest, who met with nothing but the frowns of the rich, the severity of the laws, with jails and punishments; who owned not a single foot of the extensive surface of this planet? (de Creveceour) He is here now and he wants to belong. He works hard, most times employed with two or three different jobs at a time, doing jobs no one else wants and for a wage no one else would work for. Although he has bread and harvest, he is still looked down on with frowns not from the rich but those who are rightful citizens.

Often illegal immigrants have no face and no name. They are one amassed group of millions “who don’t belong and shouldn’t be here. Look at my blog home page and see the face of my child. Stare into those enormous brown eyes that could melt glaciers and tell him he can’t be with his papa anymore. His father was searching for more opportunities for himself and more opportunities for his extended family. He came here the only way he knew how. I do not justify the means by which he did it but he is here now. “His country is now that which gives him land, bread, protection, and consequence: Ubi panis ibi patria, is the motto of all emigrants. What then is the American, this new man? He is an American, who leaving behind him all his ancient prejudices and manners, receives new ones from the new mode of life he has embraced, the new government he obeys, and the new rank he holds he becomes an American by being received in the broad lap of our great Alma Mater. Here individuals of all nations are melted into a new race of men, whose labours and posterity will one day cause great changes in the world” (de Creveceour).

Dr. Brandon said, “The founders wouldn't have cared who became a citizen. Essentially, they argued that everyone had the same rights and were due the same consideration.” Do only some people have the right to adopt America as their country? Since 2000, legal immigrants to the United States number approximately 1,000,000 per year, of whom about 600,000 are Change of Status immigrants who already are in the U.S. (Wikipedia.com). The U.S. should continue to be a place of refuge and a land of opportunity for all seeking it. We should stay true to the vision of the founding fathers and welcome all who wish to come here, within reason. Whether someone is a legal or illegal immigrant, I know many people feel this is our country and want everyone else to get out or stay out. Like I said, I used to feel differently than I do now. I know my son’s father is here illegally and I choose not to do anything about it. What you do?

Week 8: reflection and rough draft

When I enrolled in Early American Literature I was excited. I love to read. However, when I brought the books home and started skimming through them, I was really disappointed. I was sure this class would be dreadful, long, boring and tedious. I have never been more happy to be wrong. I will not be the first to say that the way Dr. Brandon’s class is organized is very conducive to reading, understanding and applying the literature in a fun and creative way. If the class was not set up in small committees, if we did not read and then write about the literature this class would have been agonizing and over whelming.

I have learned how to read real literature. I never knew reading literature could be SO different from novels. It has been vital over the last eight weeks to slow down and take more time. I have realized I have to allow time to read and think and reread. The technique that works best for me is when I read the writing prompt first so I have some idea of what I should be looking for in the reading. While I am reading I take quotes that will fit in with what I want to write about and my essays start to form and take shape. Although I do love to read, I have never had much exposure to transcendentalists and romantics. I had heard of Emerson, Thoreau and Poe but never laid eyes on their work. Men are like plants; the goodness and flavour of the fruit proceeds from the peculiar soil and exposition in which they grow. We are nothing but what we derive from the air we breathe, the climate we inhabit, the government we obey, the system of religion we profess, and the nature of our employment (de Crevecoeur, 56). I would add we are nothing but what we derive from the knowledge we acquire and apply in our lives. This has allowed me to take what I read and change myself and my life because of it.

I have learned how to apply the readings in my life. Before the class started I thought I would be a passive participant and a lot of parroting would take place. “In the right state, he is, Man Thinking. In the degenerate state, when the victim of society, he tends to become a mere thinker, or, still worse, the parrot of other men's thinking” (Emerson). This was my biggest moment in this class. Emerson hit me like a ton of bricks and opened my eyes. I thought of myself as a great student. I never thought of myself as a scholar. Now, I don’t know if I could even be called that. I have been parroting back information to try and earn high grades but I haven’t really been learning anything. I definitely haven’t been using the things I learn to spark unique and individual thought. I am ashamed of myself. I know I am capable of more than I have been doing. I was proud of my accomplishments so far but now the bar has been set higher. I want more out of my education and Emerson has opened that door to my personal greatness.

When I started reading our first assignment from de Crevecoeur I thought, “who in the world is so long winded that they can write one essay that is this many pages long?” The society and the authors that produced the literature came from a different world then we live in now. Someone pointed out to me that this was before television; this was before all of the modern technological distractions we have today. The world was more unstable and uncertain in an entirely different way. There were more unknowns, there was more that was changing and they had more time to ponder on these issues. As Dr. Brandon has told us, “Romanticism as a movement placed a tremendous value on the worth of the individual person and their ability to feel greatly, to imagine, and to sympathize. Romanticism was pivotal in providing Americans with an intellectual and artistic tradition.” The works that these authors produced played a very important role in shaping our country.

These works have had a tremendous impact on me. “To be awake is to be alive. I came to die only to discover that I had not lived. I wanted to live deep; to suck all the marrow out of life.” (Thoreau) I knew exactly that Thoreau was saying when he wrote that. It echoed the path I have been on for the last few years of my life. I enjoy learning and although, at times, the words of these great authors are very difficult to understand, they excite me. They inspire me to higher thinking and more fulfilled living. “It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude” (Emerson). If each individual lived true to the independence of solitude it would completely change society as a whole. I believe that no one person can change the world but if each individual changes then those changes can affect the whole world. Sometimes when I am out in the world I feel like a treasonous imitation of myself. I don’t know why I find it so hard to maintain that independence.

Wikipedia says that the term sublime especially refers to a greatness with which nothing else can be compared and which is beyond all possibility of calculation, measurement or imitation. Poe focused on terror and horror when feeling the sublime. Dr. Brandon also shared that the sublime can be elation or joy. The reason behind the search for these moments is that at no other time do we feel more alive. Sometimes life can feel like dream. The day to day monotony can drag and feel hauntingly repetitive. These moments snap us awake from our sleep walking. They are so intense and raw with extreme emotion there is no doubt that we are alive.

I will argue for an A. At this point it would be an A-. I enjoy writing very much and I think I am quite exceptional at it. I love words and because of my love for theatre I have quite a dramatic flair. I know that I can improve on the promptness of my writing assignments. My sublime moment I wrote about temporarily blinded me to my real life responsibilities. I have refocused and prioritized so I am back on track. The quality of my writing is well above average and the quantity is always exact to the specification of the weekly assignments page. The only other thing I need to do is continue to incorporate my readings into my writings like I did at the beginning of the semester.

Nature

Why I didn’t take a walk.

I grew up in the Pacific Northwest. Washington state is home of the Emerald city, the Cascade mountain range, Mt. Rainier, the Puget Sound and miles of Pacific Coast shoreline and highway. It is breathtakingly beautiful. When I say that I mean stop you dead in your tracks, consciously remember to breathe and pick your jaw up off the ground beautiful.

I am spoiled, totally and completely spoiled from having grown up in such a magnificent part of the country and world for that matter. I inherited a deep seeded love for nature. For its’ beauty and all it has to offer. I am from a lower middle class family and I have six brothers and sisters. Since we didn’t have a lot of money growing up my family usually went for the free outdoor activities and for that I am truly grateful. Instead of going to Disneyland we went camping. Instead of going to amusement parks we went on day trips to the ocean. Instead of a fancy vacation we took road trips out to the Olympic Peninsula. I wouldn’t trade the experiences or the memories for any others.

I can see most of our recent readings manifest in my experiences with nature. I am my true self out in the woods. When I am swimming through icy glacial run off or hiking through a forest so green it looks like it was taken straight from Oz or the Emerald City. When I am immersed with the independence of solitude I can listen to what the earth is trying to teach me through the winds song, the sunsets vision and the feel of the breeze on my skin. When I am living a full life I become one with the mountains and I know that with enough faith I can move them. My life would not be full if I didn’t have the peace I feel from leaving the crazy modern world behind and seeking out the stillness of the outdoors. Those moments are sublime when words escape me and I am moved with emotion, to tears, at the beauty God has created and given to us, his children.

My relationship with nature is one of reverence and awe. My relationship with nature is one of peace and gratitude. My relationship with nature continues to strengthen and grow. I hope I will be able to share that relationship with my son. I hope he will grow up to know and love nature the way I do.

Why I didn’t take a walk… there are many things I wish I had time to do that I simply don’t. My days are filled with school work (being a scholar), my son (living a full life) and work (just one of those necessities). I simply didn’t have time to get out and enjoy one of the things I love the most. It is going on the “to do” list and the next time I do get out I will think of this assignment. I hope I will enjoy it even more!

Committe review and discussion Week: 6

Pennsylvania Committee review: Week 6

I, the unofficial and self appointed, Pennsylvania Committee crier ring my bell and stand up on my soap box. Greetings to one and all.

Committee member Jennie- “I started being one of those nasty girls who makes rude comments about people, who gets all caught up in the latest drama. I guess you could say I was one of those typical mean, dramatic high school girls who needed a major reality check and indeed I did receive one.” At least you learned this lesson young. It is a hard lesson to learn and some people never learn it! I am proud of you. It is not easy to admit when we are wrong and even harder to change ourselves from the inside out. “I believe that in order to live a full life you really do have to embrace everyone and everything around you. You need to try to meet every person you can, because you never know how positively that they could impact your life.” Our views on living a full life are closely related. I love your outlook.

Committee member Jon- Trying to make too many happy is one of the fastest ways to complicate your life. I think, although it is important to be unselfish and care for others, it is important to set boundaries and not try to please others at your own expense. “I face many problems in my life that I seem to make living ideally much harder. I try to make too many people happy and I do occasionally worry about menial things and tasks. I believe that most of this stems from the fact that I am a poor organizer.” I loved your statement, “ I wouldn't worry so much about my future because I would have the control to do what I needed to do instead of letting my bad habits control me.” Our bad habits can do control us. Only when we become masters of ourselves are we truly free to live our lives fully.

Committee member Connie- “I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude”. (Thoreau) I think it shows great character when some can and enjoys being alone. Many great things can happen in solitude such as discovery of self, communication with God and peace within. “That means going within your soul and search for what makes you happy, at peace, and complete. I think Thoreau experienced this as he isolated himself from society, living a simple life.” That peace is priceless when it is finally discovered. “At one time, life began to seem more like a prison than an opportunity. Not always but many times this has caused uncertainty and pain. Forgive yourself and others. This frees guilt and bitterness.” I felt like I was in a self imposed prison and there was a lot of pain because of my choices but I found hope. You talked about faith and faith is an amazing thing. I love the saying, “Our faith and attitude determine how happy we are.”

Reflection: Week 6

Week 6 reflection:
“To be awake is to be alive. I came to die only to discover that I had not lived. I wanted to live deep; to suck all the marrow out of life.” (Thoreau) Last week I was reminded of what really matters and what is essential to living the fullest life. To me this quote by Thoreau summarizes how I was living my life and how I feel now. I have completely changed the direction of my life in the last two and a half years. I wasn’t doing anything with my life. I didn’t have any goals. I wasn’t headed anywhere but to a future of misery and loneliness. Like Thoreau, I realized I was going to die and look back and see I had never really lived my life the way God intended me to. I know I have been blessed with the love of learning, with a passion for the arts and the ability to create and inspire others. I wake up in the morning excited to see what the day will bring, who I can reach out to and what ways I can make life better for me and those within my sphere of influence.

The Sublime --

I find myself in the midst of the sublime. My heart skips a beat. Butterflies cause unease in my stomach. When I picture his face I can almost feel his lips on mine again. When we lay in each others arms it is as if the rest of the world has fallen away or stopped existing. That moment is all there is. It is all consuming. It is bliss.

The first moment I saw him, he caught my eye. In that instant I was drawn to him. Yet, I proceeded with caution and he approached me. I looked up at his handsome face and smiled into his eyes. Those eyes are captivating. Those eyes are gentle and genuine. They are a crazy green- brown and can see right into my soul. When he smiles it shows in those eyes. They do not judge; they do not assume.

Then he spoke. Could it be possible this man, this incredible individual, could give me a run for my money. He oozes enthusiasm. He is like this ball of energy and it is contagious. The evening is a whirl wind of music and lights, of smiles and laughter. The connection is instantaneous and the night marches on. A slow song together is followed by a gentle embrace. It is an embrace that communicates more than words could at that point. Confidence. Sincerity. Intrigue. Desire. Two people close to one another. Two hearts pound as the dance floor becomes our private playground.

This is just the beginning. This is the start of something wonderful, amazing and ethereal. Did God, himself, have a hand in this? Was this meeting, this union, blessed from above? I feel as if I slumbered; only remotely aware of all the goings on around me. I am awake for the first time in a long time. Life has new meaning. Endless hours of conversation are followed by days of pondering, wishing, hoping and dreaming.

Can falling in love be compared to jumping from a plane? Yes! If when you fall in love you fall all the way. If the fall into love is done with your whole heart with no walls to impede the descent, the intensity can rival that jump from a plane. Love can be all consuming and override every emotion. It can transform you and change the world around you. It is more powerful and lasts longer than the jump. It is even more frightening because a broken leg heals faster and easier than a broken heart. It is worth it. All the way!

That fall into love is more treasured than the jump. The jump is planned, scheduled and calculated. All the risks are weighted, the liability forms are signed and every precaution is taken. The fall into love can come at any moment and no one knows which corner it is waiting behind. It comes out of nowhere and grabs a hold of your heart, your mind and your soul. There is no warning. It takes you by surprise, knocks you off your feet and you never know what to expect out of this thrill ride. Climb in and hang on. Throw caution to the wind. Commit to give all of yourself to the experience and live with love in your life.

A full life

“There is never an instants truce between virtue and vice. Goodness is the only investment that never fails. By turns our purity inspires and our impurity casts us down.” (Thoreau) Living a full life means being true to the intrinsic virtue God has placed within me. It has been a battle my whole life. Evil works beget evil habits and negatively form personal character. Purity is from God and does inspire, myself and others, to good works and the emergence of charitable character. I did not live because I was barely alive. I was hiding from myself. I was running from God and all I knew to be true. I was an empty shell of the creature God intended me to become. I let drugs, booze and relationships deter me from my rightful place on the right hand of God. I chose guilt and shame and isolation over peace and pride and fellowship. I sought after the opinion of the world and tried everything to forget my disloyalty to my maker.

“To be awake is to be alive. I came to die only to discover that I had not lived. I wanted to live deep; to suck all the marrow out of life.” (Thoreau) I thought I would find my way slowly to the grave through oceans of booze, mountains of cocaine and relationships that lacked depth and fidelity. That was not living! I was barely existing. Every day is a gift from God. With each sunrise comes the opportunity to grow, to love and to make the world better. Each hour is to be treasured and used carefully because we can never get it back.

“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify.” (Thoreau) I still get caught up in the details of life. I become fixated on the mundane inconsequential fine print. I forget to live, to enjoy, and to BE in the moment. I constantly remind myself to let the day happen and cherish the moments that make it up. My son makes me feel alive. He teaches me of the beauty and wonder of the world. I see, through his eyes, the magic of simple everyday things. He is my greatest tutor. He is untainted from the worlds’ opinion.

“Let us settle ourselves, and work and wedge our feet downward through the mud and slush of opinion, and prejudice, and tradition, and delusion and appearance, … through poverty and philosophy and religion, till we come to a hard bottom and rocks in place, which we call reality.” (Thoreau) I now live courageously. I have found my rock. Living a full life means centering my life on Jesus Christ. My religion is my foundation. Living a full life means living and loving without reservation. A full life is being surrounded by family and friends that love you. A life fully lived is one without guilt or shame and pride in the person you are.

reflection: Week 4

Emerson and I didn’t get along at first. Reading his essay was like reading Chinese. This second week of Emerson was easier than the first. I have become more comfortable with his style and I understood better this week than last. I do not pretend to understand all or most of what he writes about but I definitely see an improvement in my comprehension.

This week a disturbing truth was revealed to me, “In the right state, he is, Man Thinking. In the degenerate state, when the victim of society, he tends to become a mere thinker, or, still worse, the parrot of other men's thinking” (Emerson). I have been a parrot of other men’s thinking. I never thought of myself as a scholar; I considered myself a student. Now, I don’t know if I could even be called that. I have been parroting back information to try and earn high grades but I haven’t really been learning anything. I definitely haven’t been using the things I learn to spark unique and individual thought. I am ashamed of myself. I know I am capable of more than I have been doing. I was proud of my accomplishments so far but now the bar has been set higher. I want more out of my education and Emerson has opened that door to my personal greatness.

Committe review and discussion Week: 4

I, the unofficial and self appointed, Pennsylvania Committee crier ring my bell and stand up on my soap box. Greetings to one and all.

Committee member Connie, I enjoyed how your essay pointed out continued learning throughout life. “Therefore, to live is to be learning.” It is true that just simply being a live should mean you are a student. Unfortunately, many people walk around blind to life’s learning opportunities. I was looking for you to mention Emerson’s three main points of being a true scholar which were love of nature, reading books to expand your mind and putting action to belief. Only then can we really live. I agree Emerson is difficult to read and I get frustrated. Reading his essays forces me outside my comfort zone and I have to really think about the material I am reading.

“Is not the true scholar the only true master?” -Emerson

To be an American Scholar

Emerson’s American scholar places value on nature. “The first in time and the first in importance of the influences upon the mind is that of nature. The scholar is he of all men whom this spectacle most engages. He must settle its value in his mind” (Emerson). I was raised in the Pacific Northwest. I have a deep appreciation for the beauty of the outdoors and enjoy engaging in its’ spectacle. I enjoy drawing with charcoal and chalk. My portfolio is full of drawings that capture the majesty of mountains, the nobility of trees and the passion of sunsets. If that is the first step to being a great scholar, I am well on my way. He mentions bookworms and bibliomaniacs and I must admit I can be placed into that category. I love to read. However, when I am immersed in my school work I feel like the recluse. “There goes in the world a notion, that the scholar should be a recluse, a valetudinarian, — as unfit for any handiwork or public labor, as a penknife for an axe. The so-called `practical men' sneer at speculative men, as if, because they speculate or see, they could do nothing” (Emerson). Is there no place in this world for the intellect side by side with the ‘practical men’? My family will be going to the park, to see a movie or out to eat and not give a second thought to me behind a closed door tapping away at my key board. It seems to me they are of the notion that my desire to participate in those activities does not exist. They assume I happily accept my reclusive state and have nothing to offer by joining in. “The office of the scholar is to cheer, to raise, and to guide men by showing them facts amidst appearances. He plies the slow, unhonored, and unpaid task of observation. Worse yet, he must accept, — how often! poverty and solitude” (Emerson). Oh! This is my lot in life. The role I must usurp now as I labor to expand my mind and earn my degree. Poverty and solitude, I know them well. We have become well acquainted and endure we together.

Emerson’s scholar is Man Thinking. Unfortunately, I am often merely a thinker and I ashamedly I admit that sometimes I am the parrot. “In this distribution of functions, the scholar is the delegated intellect. In the right state, he is, Man Thinking. In the degenerate state, when the victim of society, he tends to become a mere thinker, or, still worse, the parrot of other men's thinking” (Emerson). While his scholar uses books for inspiration, I read mine for amusement. “Books are the best of things, well used; abused, among the worst. What is the right use? They are for nothing but to inspire” (Emerson). Instead of reading to escape and entertain I can change my mind set, “When the mind is braced by labor and invention, the page of whatever book we read becomes luminous with manifold allusion. Every sentence is doubly significant, and the sense of our author is as broad as the world” (Emerson). This fundamental difference between me and Emerson’s scholar is profound. When I can truly become Man Thinking my universe will expand and my mind will embrace its’ capacity for marvelous achievements.

Emerson’s ideas are not just abstract and unattainable concepts. They have real life application. To understand, “Its (natures’) beauty is the beauty of his own mind” (Emerson) means to use my mind for great, unique and original purpose. Every life experience can be transformed into something ethereal and pertinent. “So is there no fact, no event, in our private history, which shall not, sooner or later, lose its adhesive, inert form, and astonish us by soaring from our body into the empyrean” (Emerson). We must not only think; we must put action to our contemplations. “Character is higher than intellect. Thinking is the function. Living is the functionary. A great soul will be strong to live, as well as strong to think” (Emerson). I can apply all this to every level of my education. Theatre is my passion and when I am engaged in learning and studying it I feel, “This is my music; this is myself” (Emerson). “Is not the true scholar the only true master?” -Emerson

Reflection: Week 3

Who is the best me and what is my ideal self? That is a difficult question to answer. Even if we have an answer, do we really know? My knowledge of my ideal self comes from my spiritual upbringing. I know that I am a child of God, I have infinite worth and limitless potential. Temporally, however, I didn’t know who I was for most of my life. I had lost faith in my ability to blossom and flourish within my limitless potential. I am a recovering alcoholic and I was blinded by my addiction. I couldn’t see through the whiskey and I couldn’t swim through the rum. I was drowning and I knew I had to get out. Sobriety is precious and I have been able to start to know and become my ideal self.
Emerson lent great assistance in helping to form my essay. I learned we will not know until we try. “The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried” (Emerson). I learned a genuine life that is lived is better than one that is a spectacle. “My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady” (Emerson). I learned it is important to live after my own opinion and stay true to myself when I am out in the world. “It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude” (Emerson). I learned that virtue comes from within. It is not shown in empty actions. “We pass for what we are. Character teaches above our wills. Men imagine that they communicate their virtue or vice only by overt actions, and do not see that virtue or vice emit a breath every moment” (Emerson). I learned that I should compare myself to no one and accept me for who I am. “These roses under my window make no reference to former roses or to better ones; they are for what they are; they exist with God to-day. There is no time to them. There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of its existence” (Emerson).
I learned from reading the essays of my classmates that our life experiences make us who we are. It is up to each individual to use those experiences to become better and stronger. When we are younger and haven’t truly lived it is hard to know who we are even if we know who we want to become. The most important thing I learned is how to read, understand and retain information better while doing my weekly readings. I read the writing prompt first. Then while I’m reading I look for information and quotes to use for my essay. So while I am reading I am concentrating more on the content to find what I like and want to use instead of reading and skimming blindly. It helps me stay focused on the material.

Committee review and discussion: week 3

I, the unofficial and self appointed, Pennsylvania Committee crier ring my bell and stand up on my soap box. Greetings to one and all.
To be the best us we have to know where we have been and who we are to know where we are going and who we want to be. If you want to drive to California you can’t point your car towards Alaska because you will never get there.

Committee member Jennie, it takes great insight for you to realize and admit that, at 19, you really haven’t had the kind of life experiences that make us who we are but I am proud of you that you have a very clear picture of the best you, you want to be! I hope you do become a trustworthy, fun person who is not afraid to try new things and doesn’t stress over the little things. You will make an excellent mother and wife when you have big heart and you be yourself. I loved this part of your essay, “There are so many positive sides on the road of life; I don’t want to stress out about the tiny pot holes that interrupt it.” It was very poetic. Good job!

Committee member Connie, I also grew up in a house where there wasn’t a lot of money but there was a lot of love and a lot of hard work. I loved that you used Emerson’s quote, “man’s failure to see light is caused by standing in his own shadow.” We often are the person standing in our own way and stopping ourselves from succeeding. My sister, brother and best friend are all R.N.’s Nursing does foster compassion and growth. Not all people can say they are proud of who they are. I know I couldn’t for a long time but I am able to say it now. That is one of the key elements of being the best you. You have to love yourself and be proud of who you are. Good job!

The Best Me

“The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried” (Emerson). For a long time I was afraid to try. I was afraid to even attempt for fear of failure. I doomed myself to failure because I would not try. I lacked the confidence I needed to succeed because I was not true to myself. I was not true to my beliefs, ideals and the very foundation of my being. Now as I align my conduct with my belief I know anything is possible. I know that if I set my mind to it, I can accomplish anything I desire.

“My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady” (Emerson). I do not envy the “rich and famous”. Their lives are a spectacle. I would not wish the sadness and misery that accompany life in a fish bowl on myself or anyone I love. Real happiness comes from being true to oneself. I attempt to be tough and untouchable because in the eyes of the world to be soft is to be weak. To be loving and gentle, to feel deeply, to weep for the sad and mourn for the weary is feeble. I have been blessed with the capacity to empathize with others and now I will no longer ignore that but instead embrace it.

“It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude” (Emerson). Why in public do I conform to the opinion of the world? Why do I become some treasonous imitation of myself? When I step out into the world I will live after my own opinion and with the same independence of solitude. I will embrace the divinity God has planted in my soul and nurture it until it takes root and grows.

“We pass for what we are. Character teaches above our wills. Men imagine that they communicate their virtue or vice only by overt actions, and do not see that virtue or vice emit a breath every moment” (Emerson). True beauty (and virtue) is reflected from within. If there is no internal virtue, it does not matter what our actions are. They are an empty shell of God’s intentions for us. I will continue refine my intrinsic virtue and to ensure it shines from deep within.

“I will stand here for humanity, and though I would make it kind, I would make it true” (Emerson). The right path is seldom the easy path. While being honest one does not have to be cruel. For me there is a delicate balance in being tactfully honest. I will inspire change and give a voice to those who have none. I will make it true.

“These roses under my window make no reference to former roses or to better ones; they are for what they are; they exist with God to-day. There is no time to them. There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of its existence” (Emerson). I will compare myself to no one. I will be what I am, what I was created to be and I will exist with God.

Whatever I accomplish, it will be great.
When I am the best me, I will be fearless when I try.
When I am my ideal self I will be genuine and equal.
When I am truly me, I will maintain the independence of solitude.I will emit virtue at every breath.
In my heart of hearts, I will know I am perfect in every moment of my existence.

Week 2: Reflection

Prior to this weeks’ readings and writings, I had a very stereotypical attitude about “What is an American?” Apple pie, baseball, democracy and automobiles are all that represents us today. My attitude was quite pessimistic. We have become lazy, self righteous and greedy. Our forefathers would look at us and be ashamed of who we have become. They would see our government as a mockery of the original vision they had for this great nation. But have we strayed so far off course? Are we really as lost as I originally thought?

Dr. Brandon said the pioneers probably worked just as hard as we do but they just worked at different things. True, we don’t have to clear forests by hand or build our homes with primitive tools. We don’t have to grow everything we eat or sew the few clothes we have to wear. We do have to work one and sometimes two jobs to make ends meet. Some have to work and go to school at the same time because, today, education is essential for success. The world we live in is fast paced and changes so rapidly it is a struggle to keep up. de Crevecoeur said here we feel a share of national pride (48) here there are no aristocratical families… no kings… and the rich and poor not so far removed from each other (49). Twice, in discussion, it was mentioned that with a little luck and a lot of hard work almost anything is possible here. de Crevecoeur also said like all other plants they have taken root and flourished (53). America is a place where people have the room and opportunity to become something great. We exhibit a “strong religious medley” (65) and there is room for everybody in America (75). My favorite quote was, Men are like plants; the goodness and flavour of the fruit proceeds from the peculiar soil and exposition in which they grow. We are nothing but what we derive from the air we breathe, the climate we inhabit, the government we obey, the system of religion we profess, and the nature of our employment (56). What I have learned is that although we have changed drastically, which is destined to happen with time, our roots are planted deep in the soil of ideals from our forefathers. We are not so far removed from where we came from. We are a new race of men, we are Americans (55).

Committee review and discussion: week 2

Pennsylvania Committee Week 2

I, the unofficial and self appointed, Pennsylvania Committee crier ring my bell and stand up on my soap box. Greetings to one and all. I am proud of our committee. Our debut into the world of literature and blogging has been a success. "Dr. Brandon asked us to ask questions and get each other thinking. After reading your blogs, I had these questions and comments. I'm not out to offend anyone, but I would like to get a good conversation going..."

Committee member Jenny, it is true we are free to choose how we want to live and have the choice to create the life we want. You say that an American can be anyone they want to be and have any intelligence level. Part of the freedom to create your life could include living in a cardboard box and no one could take that away from you. I fear we might be giving our friends, who are not yet our country men, the wrong impression. I think most people who have limited education and intelligence or live in cardboard boxes do not make those choices but are victims of circumstance, don’t you? You are correct that it is difficult to pin down specifics of what it is to be an American. It is a very broad scope but if we focus on the foundation and beliefs of our country then we can show mastery and a clear picture of what it really means. I loved your final paragraph! It made me excited and it enticed me.

Committee member Jon, are we really free to live on our own terms? In this country we are ruled by laws just like any other country. We all have someone or many people we have to answer to. It could be your boss, landlord, a policeman or a judge. You say the people have a great affect on the government and politicians are representative of the people. Our views of the democracy we live in are very different. The way I see it, most are out to accomplish individual agendas and further their own causes. In your letter you talked about many branches on the “cultural tree” of our country. Technology, the media, sports and transportation are all vital to us Americans. It is true, our country is more appealing to immigrants because of our diverse cultural mixing.

Committee member Ronnie, yes we do have religious freedom but we are not free from persecution. There is still anger, oppression and intolerance here. Think back to September 12, 2001. That was the day after our world changed forever. People who visibly show their faith are judged and discriminated against because of the actions of others. Part of the American dream is to own a house but when you speak of our houses having six bedrooms, three bathrooms and a personal theater and gym, that isn’t representative of the general population. Also, it makes us sound shallow and materialistic. I feel like many Americans are but was that your intent? I don’t agree “if you can make it here you can make it anywhere”. Even though we are cut throat, we have more opportunities to succeed here than anywhere else in the world. On the other side, I loved the example you used of the Sham- wow! It is proof that, “ find a need, fill a need” can make anyone’s dreams come true. I loved when you talked about listening to your heart, picking a path and starting your journey. It not only applies to education but to any aspect in making your American dream come true.

Committee member Tiffany, I have nothing to offer in the way of debate. Your choice of words painted a colorful pictures and created vivid imagery in my mind. Yes, I agree that to be an American means to have an open heart and love of opportunity. I love how the beginning of your letter and the end mirrored each other!

Committee member Connie, as you say “you are older than the average age college student” and perhaps that is why I enjoyed your perspective so much. This country was built with a vision and a promise from inherited ideals. Looking to the past does reflect where we have been. Your letter was full of debate and contradictions. The examples you used such as marriage and divorce, family and dysfunction, healthcare and mortality rates, American cars and foreign fuel all show the dichotomy of our country. With a little luck and a lot of hard work we can climb the social and economic ladder and become a success!

Once again, I think you all did a great job and any questions that I posed are meant to help us start thinking deeper and start discussion. Please let me know if anything I said was misconstrued or if I can improve in any way. I want your feedback too!

What is an American?

Dear friend,
I want to share my thoughts with you about, “What is an American?” I know you feel fully educated about us and our culture because of the endless hours of American TV you have watched but indulge me if you will. I can assure you not everyone lives with their other five friends in the same apartment building in New York. Although we may have a close knit group we hang out with, your best friends probably won’t date your brother. Your other close guy friend probably won’t be super hot and really dumb. If one of your girl friends is tall, leggy and blond, I pray she won’t be hopelessly clueless and sing songs about “smelly cats.” We do have great healthcare here but please don’t be disillusioned to the fact that your E.R. doctor will look like Dr. Mark Greene, that our hospitals are run like well oiled machines and every day in the E.R. is orchestrated like the timeless symphony. If you do decide to move here you may experience culture shock. There are many beautiful people in America; however, they don’t all look like the ones living in the zip code 90210. We all don’t get to lead the privileged lives they do either. I wish my high school boy friend looked like Dylan McKay. Anyway, I digress. I am sure the main reason you want to move here is to live the American dream. I hope Jerry Seinfeld and his crazy friends didn’t lead you to believe that life is pointless. Their “show about nothing” might dash all hope of a meaningful life here but I assure you my friend that the American dream is alive and well.

We have grown from roots planted deep in the soil of freedom and liberty. Ours is a government by the people and for the people. We have democracy that enables us the pursuit of happiness and this truly is the land of the free and the home of the brave. Americans are patriotic. Many would say they bleed red, white and blue. Here you can be a citizen and find a sense of belonging. In America “we know no strangers and this is every person’s country" (Heath, 74). In the beginning, our country was born from European ideals but individuals prided themselves on transforming those and making them original and unique. We Americans, put action to belief and change is possible. We are free to choose and the opportunities to flourish abound. There are many aspects of this great country that make it a desirable place to live. The gapping chasm that separates the rich and the poor does not exist. The noble and entitled do not dictate to the “common”. The farmer and the business man work for the benefit of the whole. Our culture is rich and full of music, theatre, cuisine, symphony, ballet and even baseball can be added to our unique heritage. These all are exceptional examples of traditional American ideals from long ago.

Since you are my dear friend, I have no choice but to be honest with you. Please don’t mistake my honesty for pessimism. To be fair to you I want to give you a very clear picture of America as I see it today. With all my heart I believe this is the greatest most powerful nation on earth. I love my country and most times I am proud to be an American. Most Americans continue to try to live “the dream”. Fathers get up in the morning and head off to work so they can provide for their families. Mothers are home to bandage skinned knees and bake chocolate chip cookies. Families of all shapes and sizes fight together, work together and play together. At the end of the day they bow their heads to thank God for the roof over their head and food in their bellies. There is another side to the reality of America today. We have unfair and ever increasing taxes on the middle class while the rich get tax breaks. Our so called democracy is a farce. Our leaders don’t listen to the voice of the people. There don’t seem to be any honest politicians and recent history is riddled with scandals and scams. I love our soldiers and have no greater respect for anyone. They sacrifice their lives to keep us free but now we are stuck with a war no one wanted and now don’t know how to end. Our economy is in a recession because no one can manage to live within their means. We outsource all of our jobs and the unemployment rate continues to climb. While you wish to immigrate here, millions of people are here illegally in this country. Our government is going bankrupt because of greed and selfishness. Instead of Americans working for the common good and pursuing happiness, it seems most are now is self absorbed, egotistical and feel entitled to the same things people used to sweat and bleed for.

I love you, dear friend, enough to be honest with you. I hope you will consider what I have said but remember America is the greatest nation on earth and there are no other people like us Americans on this planet. I look forward to hearing from you soon. God bless America!
Yours truly,
Hilarie